Wartime Grammar

Wartime Grammar

Wartime Grammar

For Caroline

Who is sitting right next to me.

There is a difference, Ginny has long since realized, between "should" and "will". A lot of things should happen, but it doesn't mean they will; the same as many things shouldn't happen but that doesn't mean they won't. For a long time she thought that "should" was just a set up for "will" - a dream that would eventually, inevitably, evolve into reality.

But just because Harry should win the war doesn't mean he will - he should live through this hell but he probably won't, and even though he should have stayed with her and let her protect him he didn't and he won't necessarily fix that mistake in time.

She knows that things are bad and getting worse, and she should be brave but she can't be, not when she's here and Harry's there and nothing is as it should be, not even those things that Ginny thought could withstand everything.

The Burrow is tense and quiet as it should be and it won't ever be loud again because Percy is dead and Charlie is dying and the color of Harry's eyes is also the color of death. There are flashes of sunlit days and walks around the lake, but she's afraid she won't ever have those again and shouldn't remember what he felt like but she won't ever forget.

She crawls into bed at night and tries to remind herself that bravery comes in all shapes and sizes, and that she has to get through this because if she doesn't then her family won't be able to go on. And she should care more about that - about her Mum and her Dad and Bill's new addiction to raw meat - then about a boy, no matter if she loves him more than she loves anything else in the whole world, and you can't go throwing yourself in front of curses for him, even if it means you're keeping him alive. Family should matter more.

But she will give up her life for his - even if she shouldn't - because there's such a fine line between a boyfriend and a soulmate and Ginny's pretty sure she's crossed it.