Two for the Road

Two for the Road

AnneMarie Donahue

            “Our next item up for bid is this roomy family camper.  Recently repossessed, this is a fine vehicle.  Not a thing wrong with it.”  The auctioneer said in a very thick nasal islander’s accent.  He looked out at the group of thirty people.  “What should we start it at?”

            “$1,000” a voice in the back shouted.

            “Okay, thousand noted.”  He nodded, “now maybe somebody would like to make a real bid.”

            The crowd gave a good natured laugh and came alive.

            “Two thousand!”  A man sitting in the front bid.

            “Twenty-five hundred.”  The older man standing towards the back countered.

            The younger man turned and tipped his hat, “three thousand.”

            “Thirty five.”  The older man kept up without losing a beat.

            The younger man bit his bottom lip and nodded to his friend sitting next to him.  “Four thousand.

            The man in the back patted his wife’s hand.  She smiled at the excitement.  “Five thousand.”

            The young man laughed and clapped his hands.  He stood up and bowed to the man in the back.  The auctioneer announced the winner, and the crowd applauded as the Constable of St. John’s Newfoundland tipped his hat and kissed his wife.

            “This weekend is gonna rock!”  David dropped his books on the floor and turned up the stereo.  His RA walked by and eyed the room but shrugged it off and kept walking.

            Matt, his roommate looked up from his computer, “I just gotta finish this.”

            “Frack that man!”  David laughed.

            “Nawh, Roberts is gonna chew my ass if I don’t finish this.”  Matt turned his attention back to his computer.  He was editing a skate video on final cut pro.

            “You know we’re the only students from here that are going to this thing, like not even the only ones who are presenting, I mean going.”

            “Sucks.”

            “Yeah, Chawla wants us to take the camera and record everything to show off in class.”  David had sprawled out on his bed.

            Matt looked up from his computer and thought for a bit, “cool, road trip documentary.”

            “When John came to me and said he was going to retire, all I could think was…  Thank God!”  A man holding a wine flute addressed a well crowd.  The room was full of nicely dressed people and many uniformed police officers, as well as several Mounted Police Officers.  They laughed at the joke.  “I’ve been trying to start a rum-running racket up here for years and as we all know John St. Clair is the Dudley Do-Right of the islands!”

            The crowd laughed at the two men.  John, the retiree stood next to his tormentor and in a good nature chucked him on the arm.  The audience applauded.

            “Chief,” a man curve his hand at his mouth and yelled to the stage, “What are you going to do with your retirement?”