The Cat, the Tuxedo, and the Halloween Moon

The Cat, the Tuxedo, and the Halloween Moon

House Sitting

This is my entry into the 2006 GAH “Black Cat or a Tux” Fanfic challenge The story must be a halloween story, and use the lines “Was that a black cat? Or a tuxedo?” and It looked like it had a white goatee.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters or situations created for tGAH; I borrow them out of love, and purely for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit from their use. I am using another character, Rufus the dog, as created by and her magical cat Roscoe. Thanks to and...Roscoe for letting Rufus out on walks with the rest of us...

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The Cat, the Tuxedo, and the Halloween Moon

by Jo Z. Pierce

House Sitting 

Bill Maxwell barged into the house without knocking. He turned and quickly shut the door, as if he was hiding from something dangerous. Cautiously, he spied out the window with squinty eyes.

“I hate this, Ralph! I really do!”

Ralph jumped a little, as he turned to see his friend at the door.

“All those kids out there, Ralph! Would ya getta load of that? Oh! They better not toilet paper my car!”

Bill eyes were fixed on the groups of costumed children walking through the street, carrying small plastic flashlights and brightly colored bags. The tall federal agent was terrified of the scene, and obsessed with what was happening outside. He didn’t even notice the playful red haired dog as it came bounding out of the bedroom to greet Bill at the door. Feeling the dog jumping up on his leg, Bill finally looked down to acknowledge him.

“Good boy, Rufus! You wanna go hunting tonight?” Bill asked, teasing, as he watched the children go by.

“Bill...” Ralph said, in a disapproving voice.

Bill looked up to see Ralph Hinkley standing across the room. The blond looked all too familiar, dressed in a top hat, and tuxedo with tails. In his hand, he carried a long wand.

“Oh boy, Ralph! What are you going as? Carlini!” Bill looked at Ralph suspiciously.

“Carlini? That’s not funny, Bill,” Ralph said, again with that same disapproving tone.

Bill turned to the window, and tried to ignore his friend, as his eyes became fixed on the children outside. Ralph opened his arms wide, and lifted his left leg onto a chair. His voice changed tone, as he made the announcement for his friend. “This year, I am going as a Circus Ringmaster!”

Without looking back at him, Bill simply responded, “you’re making my eyes water...”

“Well, Bill, thanks for helping us out. I figured since you weren’t doing anything tonight, you wouldn’t mind staying here and handing out some candy to the kids. You know, while we chaperone the kids at Whitney High’s Costume Party. Usually the party doesn’t fall the same night as Halloween, but this year...being on a Friday...”

“As long as you stocked up the fridge. You did clean it out since last week?”

Ralph chuckled. “I knew I forgot something.”

“That’s getting real old, Ralph,” Bill said, as he pulled himself away from the door and settled into the couch. Rufus jumped up and sat next to him. “What’s on the tv?”

Ignoring his partner’s lack of interest, Ralph held out his wand, and returned to a louder version of his Ringmaster voice. “Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all ages! Behold my most beautiful assistant... the very talented, the very beautiful, Pamela Hinkley!”

With that cue, Pam emerged from the bedroom. Bill ignored the whole scene, until Pam cleared her throat. Looking up at her, Bill could not believe his eyes.

“What the...! Counselor! What are you too doing!” Wide eyed, he stared at Pam, posing by the door in a red superhero suit.

The cape was familiar. However, the rest of the suit was altered, almost beyond recognition. The cloth was tighter, and the cut was significantly more revealing. The top was a much tighter version of the original, falling just below the hips, and cinched with a grey belt. The alien symbol on Pam’s chest hugged her curves much better than Ralph’s. The long red pants were much tighter, and possibly more transparent. Finally, instead of Ralph’s clunky spats and boots, Pam stood in a pair of red stiletto heels.

Bill put his hand up to his mouth, as it gaped open.”Ralph! What is going on here?” Bill said, his voice almost squeaky. Finally, he cleared his throat, and dropped his voice two octaves.

“What did you two do to the suit!”

Ralph and Pam looked at Bill for a minute, each with a hurt look in their eyes. Finally, they turned to one another, and both began to laugh.

“I told you he would flip out, Ralph,” Pam finally said, as she caught her breath.