Of Oneself

Of Oneself

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"Boys..." Teaspoon dashed the papers in his hand across his thigh and paced across the room, "I got me here a letter from the men at Russell, Majors and Waddell. They tell me that we've got a bit of a problem. With the rising cost of running the Express, well," he scanned the room with his eyes, meeting each expectant gaze with a growing ache in his middle, "I gotta let one of you go by the end of the week."

He held up his hand to stave off the immediate and vociferous denials from the riders. "Don't let this get to you, boys. I haven't the first clue about what I'm going to do to fix this... But mark my words, I will find a way to make this as fair as possible." His enthusiasm didn't quite reach his eyes.

* * *

Hours later, the mood in the bunkhouse was morose at best. They'd all heard the announcement, but after that they had avoided the subject entirely each one having their own separate chores to do around the Station. But now, it was impossible since they were finally all together again. They were readying for supper, changing into fresh clothes and washing up at the basin when Ike flopped down into a chair catching Buck's attention. He followed Ike's signing and tilted his head at the end, confusion apparent in his features. "A what?"

Lou watched Ike repeat his agitated statement. "Elephant?"

Ike nodded and looked around the room pointing at each of them in return, ending with Lou.

She nodded. "He says that we're not talkin' about what's really happening... Or really, what's going to happen. To us."

"It's only one person..." Kid had begun the statement, but his words faltered as Jimmy turned around to look at him from his place by the window. "Well? Teaspoon said it was going to be one rider. You're all talking about this like it's all of us."

"That's what it is, Kid." Cody lifted his head up from his pillow and blinked in disbelief. "We've been together for so long, that-"

"We're a family." Lou made the statement and closed the lid of her trunk and sat on it. "We should be talkin’ about a way to help Teaspoon make this work… find a way to…” She hung her head and sighed, “I can't imagine what would happen if someone had to leave."

Kid wanted to change the mood; things were really much simpler than everyone was making it out to be. "Why is everyone gettin’ so upset about this? It’s not like no one’s ever left. Look at Sam and Emma.”

Lou’s answering look was more of a glare. “That was something good for them. They left because Sam had a better job. This isn’t the same thing.”

“Besides, we haven't all been together since the beginning. Noah only came in a few months ago."

"Only?" Buck stepped in toward the table, looking down at Kid in his seat. "I thought we were in this together."

Kid leaned back in his chair and looked around the room. "Don't take it like that."

"How else are we supposed to take it, Kid?" Jimmy put his foot up on the nearest trunk and pulled his boot on the rest of the way. "Just because he was the last one hired-"

"That's exactly the point." Kid's fingers bit into the table top, "the rest of us have been here from the beginning. If anyone should go, it should be the last one that came in. The rest of us have more of a stake in the Express."

Silence greeted his statement.

"So, I'm it." Noah's statement fell into the center of the room and sat there on the table, waiting for someone to address it.

"But Noah's the best breaker we have." Lou gave Noah a sympathetic look. "We can't lose him."

"If you don’t like that idea? Then there's Ike," Kid felt the mute rider's gaze as a tangible touch on his face, "He's great with horses too, but you have to admit he's had a lot of troubles as a rider. With the fact that it takes one of us to translate for him to talk to anyone outside the Express, it's hard to send him out by himself, without worrying that he's gotten himself into a fix."

"You mean like that time you were thrown into that camp and it took Cody to come get us to save you?"

"That was a fluke, Jimmy..."

"You got into just as much trouble as the rest of us have gotten into."

Kid hung his head and tried to think of a way to counter it without starting a fight. "What about Buck?"

*what about buck*

"It's no secret that some of the Station Masters don't like having Buck ride through."

"Small minds, Kid."