Insights and Insecurities

Insights and Insecurities

Chapter 1

AN: Heard the song and had to write about these there, although I admit, this wasn't where I initially intended to go, I think it works quite well for the characters. I hope you agree.

MissDevon

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~It's not her fault that she's so irresistible
But all the damage she's caused isn't fixable
Every twenty seconds you repeat her name
But when it comes to me you don't care
If I'm alive or dead~

She stood there and watched as they all interacted with each other, never quite including her. Not even him. Hell, especially not him. And that's what bothered her the most.

The others she could explain away, but not her. Definitely not how he'd turn to her.

When she'd truly been on the outside she'd been aware that there was something going on, but he had denied it so well, that she had wanted to believe him. Has started to make herself believe him. Only now, she couldn't deny it anymore.

Oh, the clues had always been there. She'd always been aware of them, even in her denial. Seen more and more how he counted on her. How she counted on him.

There was something there that she could never give him. She didn't understand the inner workings of his mind the way she did. She would never be the woman he called to help him keep things together. Whom he turned to when it was all falling down around him. And her name wasn't the one he called out after a nightmare. . .

He could explain that away all he wanted, but it was clear, she wasn't the one that he feared losing.

~So objection, I don't wanna be the exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother~

"Amy, why aren't you celebrating?" the easy tone of Jed Bartlett broke into her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, sir. Would you prefer that I run around hugging and kissing people like some others?" she asked tightly.

"Well, that might be a start."

"I think I'll save it till we win the actual election, if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself," the President shrugged as he moved pass her and further into the room intent on finding his wife.

Rolling her eyes at his retreating back, Amy returned her gaze to where Josh stood with an arm around Donna's shoulders. "This has got to stop," she muttered as she crossed the room, stopping a few feet from them. "J. . ." she started, squinting slightly when he didn't hurrily drop his arm as he once would have. In fact, he didn't move it at all.

"Amy, when did you get here?" he asked, grinning like the idiot she was starting to think he was.

"I've been here all night, you've just been too wrapped up in other things to notice," she replied, not trying to hide the edge in her tone if for no other reason than it should get him to focus on her.

Josh only shrugged, "I've been busy."

"Apparently."

"Ummm. . . I'll just let you two. . . you know," Donna interrupted as she shifted uncomfortably and reached up to dislodge Josh's arm.

"You don't. . ." he started only to stop at the roll of Donna's eyes. "Whatever," he sighed in resignation as she nodded to Amy and walked away.

~Objection, I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way, I've got to get away~

Josh ran his hand through his hair as he stared at Amy, frustration growing. "Why do you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Constantly treat Donna like she was dismissible."

"She's an assistant, Josh. She doesn't have to be in on everything."

"She's more than just an assistant."

"Really? And just how much more?"

"Can we not do this?'

"Again, I ask: do what?"

"Have this fight again!"

"You don't think that we should sort this out? Don't my feelings count, or just your precious assistant's?" Amy shot back, unaware that her voice had risen as high as it had or that they were attracting an audience--- one that including a stunned Donna.

~Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal
That's why in front of your eyes I'm invisible