Hell In Your Eyes

Hell In Your Eyes

I lay here thinking of you and I wonder if you ever spare a moment's thought for me. My eyes burn and itch from being open for so long as I just stare up at the canopy above my bed. It all seems unimportant, all because I have failed.

Why do I still remember you? Why at night do all my thoughts go straight to you? Straight to your determined eyes? Oh those eyes! If I were a poet I would write sonnets devoted to those green orbs, were I an artist I would immortalize them in paint and clay. I wonder were I any of those things would you have accepted me?

Damn I would be content to drown in those pools even should it spell my death. And I wonder do you realize what you did to me? Do you spend your nights awake wondering if you made a mistake? Do you suddenly stop and for no reason wonder what it would feel like should I touch you, kiss you, make love to you?

I did everything you had ever asked of me. I had lied, I would have moved the stars for you. You and no one else. And yet you refused me, left me forsaken and broken. I have tried to put these pieces back together, but they turn to dust every time I touch them.

I am lost without you. I am dead without you. And you are unaware that you hold my hell in your eyes.

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I look out my window hoping to see you. Every night I swear I hear you just beyond my reach, and when you are not there I want to die.

I wonder do you know how I long for you? How I wish I could take back what I had said that sent you away? If I were to call for you would you come? Or do you hate me so utterly for what I have done?

I can't sleep for when I close my eyes I see your face. I can't eat for my tongue has been tainted against anything other than your lips.

I can feel my mind slowly slipping away, all sanity forsaking me as I have you. Sometimes in the dead of night when sleep denies me rest I let my mind wander. I see your eyes and can not help the tears that fall to my pillows.

Were they always that sorrow filled? Did they always hold that love or was I just too blind to your intentions? Why can't I forget? When these moments of contemplation come upon me I wish and beg to forget your eyes and the heat and love they held for me.

I try and in the end know you will be forever burned upon my mind and heart. I wonder do you realize how I am ruined for any other man? That you are my pain and my pleasure? And that you hold my hell in your eyes?