A Better Place, A Better Time

A Better Place, A Better Time

Shells

Sorry about that guys, my chapter kind of disappeared. :x

1. Shells

A hundred years wouldn't change the way I feel about you.

Whispers enter my ears is low octaves. No words, just murmurs. The things that I can't understand.

Kisses left on my cheek. Left there like a shadow of something once beautiful that is now turned ugly and shriveled.

Latent traces of our love. The way I believed in the words that drifted from his perfect lips… The way his kisses left me awestruck and dumbfounded.

"Bella?" the word stirring me from my day-mare. "Bella?"

I shook myself awake and lifted my head from the desk. Mike was leaning over in his desk, nearly falling out.

"Are you all right? You look a little… ill?" As I turned my head, I saw the entire class's attention was turned to me.

I shook my head, jumping to my feet. A burn in the back of my throat slid up into my mouth as I darted from the room, leaving the class dumbstruck. The vomit spilled from my lips as I brought my head down over the toilet bowl. None too late either. The tears were now free falling against my cheeks and onto my top as I slumped back against the metal divider. I kicked the door shut with a foot when I heard steps just outside.

"Bella?"

Enough already. I had hoped that people would finally realize that I didn't want to be bothered after the weeks of ignoring them.

"Bella?" The voice paused, and I heard a stall slowly open. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head. You've got to be kidding me. I wiped away the saline from my cheeks, straightened my shirt and opened the stall door. With a faulty smile on my lips, I answered, "Yeah. I think I got a bad piece of chicken in my nuggets." I almost spilt over in an empty laugh, stupid.

"Oh," Angela responded, leaning her tall frame against the bathroom wall, "Wanna talk?"

I shook my head, putting on that same false smile I knew she could see right through, "No thanks. Really, I'm fine. I think I'll just go over to the office and get a sick pass for the rest of the day." I keep the smile on my face as I walked pass her, patting her softly on the arm. "But thanks anyways."

The air outside was chillier than I had expected. I had decided to ditch my books and jacket and leave them in the classroom. That way I could avoid any more humiliation. The office stood off in the distance, and I took on longer strides to make it before I froze completely.

The frost on my skin was painful for so many reasons right now. Cold was simply how I felt. Empty was the way I was now. There was really no reasoning behind my actions anymore. My mind had settled into the recesses of the darkness. My heart barely beat within my chest. Often times I had a sudden thought that my heart had stopped beating. And it had. The day he left. It stopped beating. It had only palpitated for him, and now that he was…

The cold tears froze to my cheeks as I rushed through the door, finally synthetic warmth coming over me. Mrs. Cope was sitting behind her usual desk; she looked up as I entered.

"Why, Bella, you look absolutely… ill."

I gave her an ill-induced smile. "I'm not feeling very well."

"So I see. Do you need to see the nurse?"

I shook my head lightly, as not to jar it any further. "Not really. Can I just get a sick pass and go home?" She smiled, an 'I'm sorry, dear' smile. But before she could say anything. I pulled my hand to my mouth, "Bathroom." She pointed to the left, and I threw myself through the door. It was easy enough to fake a few gags and run a bit of water. That should do it. I thought. She had to let me go now.

In fact, she handed me the pass as I opened the door. I smiled weakly and left the office. The chill of the air reached inside me to the depths of my chest.

The truck started with a loud roar and pulled from the lot. Along the streets, I could see everyone going along their daily routines. Bustling about and smiling to each other. Void of the knowledge I felt in my body. That empty, sickening feeling, like I'd forgotten something terribly important at home and was almost to my destination, arriving late.

He'd left the gas stove on in my chest, and my heart was burnt to a crisp and encased by a thick layer of ice.

I'm finding it hard to restrain myself. These days the time slow creeps by leaving me with just my thoughts.

I could feel them in me. I could just imagine what I do to myself if I didn't have a job or school work. Sleep was less than an escape for me. I dreamt of every inch of him, every night was another nightmare.

But for the moment, it felt like an oasis from him. A short nap to refresh my body. I nodded to myself, agreeing that it was a good idea for today. As I pulled up closer to the house, I noticed Charlie's squad car in the driveway. Instead of pulling up to the curb, I turned around in a neighbor's driveway and headed out of town. I knew instinctively where I was going.