I like the back story here about the wings coming once a year as a blessing/curse. I think you really nailed it with the pain of transformation, too. Good job!

This story had some nice spots, like when the wings were retracting. You put a lot of emotion and description into that portion. The limitations of the challenge character count meant the story couldn't be very long, but it would have been nice seeing a little more of the joy of flight with the Orbots. I did spot a few punctuation and format errors, but those could be easily fixed later. :) Nice ending with the Orbots bringing up a question Rob hadn't considered himself. :)

Thanks for submitting this work. You have woven a fine story here and I appreciate all the hard work and careful thought that went into it. Hope to see more in the near future. Another thing you migth try next time is breaking your story into seperate chapters of 5 or 6 pages each. Post one a week or every few days. That way more people might come out to read, as 17 pages for many are too much to read all at once. It also will allow you more time to visit the forums and promote your work by making your banner visable to many differnt FanLibbers.

You will also garner more comments over time, and that is what is nice, as many people will get used to your style of writing and be willing to follow you as your submissions accumilate.

Welcome!