Great job. It was cute and sweet and I loved how you portrayed Edmund's emotions. Also Lucy made me laugh, great job.

This story has great characterization of both Will and Jack. It's nice to see both of them being friendlier with one another - after the last two movies, it's hard to imagine them not bickering every five seconds. I love the idea of Will making plans to rescue Jack after seeing Gibbs and Anamaria. You tied everything in from the original movie very nicely.

There are maybe two grammatical errors - at one point you wrote "blighter's" and it should be "blighters" - and on the second page one of Will's quotes starts without quotation marks. Otherwise, this is very well-written. Great work!

I'm surprised that your story has been in the fanlib archive for so long and has never been commented on. It's a very good story and held my attention through until the end.

You mention that this one shot may be a spoiler for the book. I have only seen the movies so I found the filler to be a nice addition to the Mary Jane and Peter Parker relationship. It's gentle and very light, but I can see the same awkward, back and forth conversations they have in the movies. There're a lot of chemistry between the two, even if they still have a ways to go before realizing it. The way you handled it was just right.

The only error I saw was at the very end where two words got smashed together "day to" became "dayto." Whether this was a submission glitch or it appears in your original, it's so minor.

Thanks for sharing this.

JeanTre16

I loved this story like some of your other ones. You are an amazing writer! Keep up the good work! I also like the way, you have the two master and padawan teams together. Very intuative. Waiting for more!