It was really out of character for her and David though. I understand you want her with Zane but she stilll cares about David.

It had a good story line, but almost none of this is realistic.

1. Tally wouldn't have just yelled at David like that. Even if she had really loved Zane for the past three years, some feelings for David would have formed.

2. Your spelling needs some serious tweaking.

3. Your writing seemed rushed.

Zaire is an awesome name though.

Keep up the good work=)

It was good, but very confusing at some points.

I think I would like it better if you fixed the run-ons and added "said Tally" and things like that so you would understand who was talking.

And I'm guessing that Tally got married to David right?