Another amazing piece of work. Your descriptions and the mood you create are simply wonderful. I could see perfectly the beautiful glass angel in the skylight...what a glorious image.

The character work is superb with the relationships, thoughts and feelings coming through so well.

I really look forward to your X-Men stories....and I'm not even a major X-Men fan...more of a casual fan. That has to tell you something. Your writing is one of my absolute favourites things here on Fanlib. Pure quality of the highest order.

Thank you :-)

Wonderful beginning! I loved how normal Jean was when she appeared in the class, yet at the same time, her hair was floating up, betraying her not so normal characteristics. I hope to see more of her in that type of setting.

I also found the whole story of the skylight very interesting. Imagine launching dirigibles from there! Awesome!

The writing is great and you painted such a vivid picture of the chamber and the skylight, I had no trouble envisioning it.

I have been reading this off and on for the past few days. I haven't finished it yet, but thought I would go ahead and chime in a little about what I have gathered.

I'm not really an X-Men fan so I have to be honest and say that I went into this story blind from the get-go. (I'm more of a Spiderman/Batman type of gal. :lol However, it didn't really matter because your descriptions really pulled me into it. The prologue was excellent, and did just what a prologue should do for someone. It peaked my interest.

The pictures you have inserted throughout the story help a person that doesn't really have a good visual to go on. (Not that what you described wasn't good enough, because it was.)

>>With mounting despair causing tears to erupt from her eyes, Moira started pounding on Charles' sternum. Then she heard his voice inside her head.<<

I could feel her frustration.

So far I'm enjoying this. I do have to say that in some spots it skips around, as Maryilee said but I'll use the excuse that it's "fandom ignorance" that caused me to be confused in spots. That really is my only gripe so far! Great job!

Usually I'd take the time to read the entire piece and then comment on it as a whole...but since I've got a lot to do today, I'm only going to comment on the first three pages, and I hope that's okay with everyone else.

Anywho, so that I don't miss my duties as a critiquer, I just want to say that I've always loved the X-men as a comic and a cartoon (and to some extent, as the first movie, because the second and third ripped apart Scott and Jean as a canon couple, which...just wasn't right). Secondly, the writing here was very descriptive, and helped me to imagine that I was right beside some of the characters as the action was happening. Case in point:

"Though exhausted to a degree he had never previously experienced, he had to see Jean. He needed to hold her in his arms before he could be certain it was all over and the world that had come apart at the seams was truly restored."

This sums up a big part of the original storyline(s) in a nutshell, and also subtly points out how Scott is starting to come down from a physically exhausting battle, as well as wondering if Jean is doing the same and that no harm has come to her. Nicely done.

I also like the screenshots from the cartoons thrown into each chapter. It makes me feel like I'm reading an actual book, and that the screenshots are the official illustrations for it. It's a brilliant idea to do that every now and then, IMHO. So...overall, it looks like a well-created read, and I'll do my best to read some more of it when I have the time.

~TWB~