It was really nice - but after some serious [and I mean SERIOUS] concideration I've just realized that the eppies are to short!! I felt like I wanted it to be more in the story [it was that good].

My only concern is that I don't think Tara would be so hateful and that if she was talking like she did in this episode - Willow would immidiatly know that it wasn't the real Tara.

And why isn't there even the slighest mention of Spike?!! They should at least talk about him!!

Other than those itty bitty thing - totally awersome!!

Keep it up =D

Hugs

i had some difficulty reading this. The writing did come off as allura put it, "a little choppy."

It moved along at a good pace and I did quite enjoy it. I just think you need to smooth it out a bit.

But I really enjoyed this. I thought the battle moved on at a good clip with just enough description that I could keep the characters straight. I really felt for Angel and Cordelia in the end.

A couple of tiny quibbles: at one point you have "Faith flew through the air and slammed into a pillar painfully...". I don't think the adverb 'painfully' is necessary. I would think it rather obvious that slamming into a pillar is painful. There are a few other places where descriptive adverbs just aren't that necessary to the understanding of the text.

I find that in my own writing, I'm very enamored of the word 'again', to the point of over using it in my narraives. I note that you also use this word a lot. It wasn't really that distracting until this passage: "When Scarr tried to stand up again, Angel punched him in the face again and dropped him again. Anger flashed through Angel again and he brought his foot down hard on Scarr’s back...". I'm afraid it's just a bit of overkill to use the word 'again' four times in two lines of text. It gives a sing-songy quality to the writing I'm sure you don't intend.

Other than these few points, I really was swept along with the battle you narrated.

Thanks, Beth

You do bring back Spike. That poor man is tortured again. Is there a Buffy series when Spike ISN'T tortured?!

anyway, I am looking forward to reading all of them!!!